I made a commitment to myself at the beginning of the year to start putting out regular content to share my journey and learn in the open. I have definitely not done that. I find it is the easiest thing to justify not doing because there is no direct, immediate tangible benefit from doing it.
My focus has been how I can bring in revenue right now as I have a family to support and not a very long personal runway. My wife is also in startup mode so I found myself asking if it has been the wisest decision for us both to do this at the same time with no stable income and school fees and a bond to pay. Life is definitely not boring right now.
At this early stage of Source there is so much to do that I can find myself getting overwhelmed and then not being as productive as I could be. This week in particular I had 3 bad nights of sleep (Various reasons including our house alarm, the neighbours dog, mosquitos and not feeling 100%) in a row and it wrecked my work ethic, energy levels and concentration capacity. I think its also ruined my flow. I had a great week last week with lots of opportunities coming my way, some amazing conversations and I really felt like things were opening up and starting to move in a positive way.
Today I feel clearer and my energy levels are higher so I have the capacity to look inside myself and see what's lurking there. My intention is to do Source differently in every way I can. I strongly believe we need to embody different ways of being from inside ourselves in order to truly face the multiple global crises we face. For me that starts by listening to what's happening inside myself.
From my understanding fear and anxiety used to be a useful tool that served to warn us of dangerous situations to keep us alive in the wild. Now in our modern domesticated lives I still feel that it has a relevant place. I'm not advocating for acting on every neurotic fearful thought, that would just appear insane and be a rather unpleasant way to live. What I am suggesting is a lot more subtle than that. So today I feel a sense of anxiety around the fact that the momentum I felt was building last week has stagnated a bit this week. I also strongly believe and acknowledge that its linked to how I have felt the last 3 days because my experience of life is an internal one, completely subjective and influenced by my internal cosmology.
From my experience when I feel that sense of anxiety I need to turn that into action in some way to firstly move the energy and secondly create a sense of empowerment for myself that I can do something to change my situation. These actions are most effective for me when I am stepping out of my comfort zone, like I am here by sharing openly what's been going on inside of myself. This post is me addressing that feeling that I need to do something and the best place to look is what I am most avoiding or what feels most uncomfortable.
Starting a new business is uncomfortable, especially when I am trying to do it in a new way that is unclear so I am living on the edge of uncertainty. At the same time this is very exciting and full of possibilities.
There is lots for me to be excited about, our team has grown, we recently welcomed Tracy-Lee Dalton to our little tribe and this week I have been interviewing developers so we can start building out our product. I have started to reach out to potential funding sources and have had and will be having some conversations in the coming weeks. We have some new ideas we will be putting out into the world in the next weeks to start testing the response as we find our best route to market.
Our mission at Source is about using storytelling as a vehicle to shift the narrative around climate change, biodiversity loss, inequality and the challenges we face as a species right now. By finding and working with the storytellers who have messages of hope and solutions and then helping them to spread their message far and wide through our distribution network we aim to shift hearts and minds so we can come together to create powerful and lasting change. I am sharing my story here as we walk this journey.
So now that I have moved through my discomfort and addressed the anxiety sitting within me I am able to more clearly see the good things that are happening in front of me. This allows me to more easily connect to a sense of flow and gratitude and invariably this results in the shifting of the stagnation. I believe strongly, backed up by many years of running my own business that the internal shifts are the most powerful ones that always translate into external physical shifts too. More and more I start inside and listen carefully to my body and then act. It's a practice I cultivate daily through yoga and meditation. Try it, it works for me.
We are open to collaborations, conversations and to working with anyone who aligns with our mission so please reach out if you feel called to, we welcome the engagement.
Lee Rael
Co-Founder of Source
